Posted by Dungeon Master on September 14, 2004 at 19:53:03:
Top Ten Signs You Can No Longer Trust The Thief In Your Party
1. Your characters often get sharp pains in their backs (followed by profuse bleeding).
2. After dinner, your PC often gets indigestion, followed by nausea (followed by death).
3. Thief always wants to take first watch, then can't be found in the morning.
4. Valuable items keep disappearing from your fighter's cloak (the one with the large side pockets).
5. After battles, the thief often regretfully explains there's no treasure (but seems to have difficulty walking).
6. Your PC's gold seems to be taking on a slight greenish colour.
7. Healing potions do very little to heal your character (and taste kinda watery).
8. Thief always hangs back in battle, and complains he "just couldn't get into the right position".
9. Strangely, everyone has a hangover the next morning except the thief.
10. The chance of a PC dying from "food poisoning" seems directly proportionate to his wealth.